This Tiny Metroidvania Game Is the Real Witchy Shit You Crave

The double-edged sword of using a well-worn trope is that you have to hit the mark pretty much perfectly. Things get done again and again in games because there is appetite for them; because people are not going to get tired, any time soon, of platformers, or progression mechanics, or pixel art. But you have to nail the execution. You have to do something that rises above all the middling attempts, because it can't rely on the strength of novelty.

This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at
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It’s fun. I like that your items are always visible. Reminds of Spyro/Crash what with their health indicator floating around you.

I am so terrible with keyboard controls though.

i never like jump on the up arrow, but that’s my only real complaint. very cute, funny ending, the items following you around quickly become the most movement on the screen at any one time and that’s great, i love the silly puns, i love my curvy pumpkin wife, it’s short, it’s that real witchy shit i crave, it’s good

And y’all know that I crave it. Downloading this literally right now. It looks super cute and I’ll all about that witch life.

Yeah, I got hit several times during the first boss fight because of the controls. It took me a while to get used to using the up arrow to jump. The text was way too small to read on my TV, so I had to play it on a different system.

Other than those minor complaints, it was a fun, cute game.

After having this article up in some wayward tab for a week, finally got around to trying this; Super cute as advertised!

It took a little while to Joy2key up a control scheme that felt right to me, can’t imagine playing a platformer without a controller.

Good Jokes:

  • The Writing - Quirky and fun!
  • The Item Train - Lulz even giving something like an apple away leaves its core as a remnant, ridiculous!
  • The Ending - More short games should have a clear punchline!

Not-So-Hot Jokes:

  • The Hamburger - Metroidvanias are all about reaching powerups. Not being able to reach one isn’t nearly as funny as reaching one that does something unexpected, even if that something is technically nothing.
  • The Item Train - Gameplay clarity starts to suffer. Enemies and their projectiles shouldn’t get lost in the inventory even if it’s pretty funny.